BRAVE MAN JOKES
>
> How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
>
> Marry her!
>
> What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
>
> A battery has a positive side.
>
> What are the three fastest means of communication?
>
> 1) Television
>
> 2) Telephone
>
> 3) Telawoman
>
> What should you give a woman who has everything?
>
> A man to show her how to work it.
>
> Why is the space between a woman's breasts and
> her hips called a waist?
>
> Because you could easily fit another pair of breasts
> in there.
>
> How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
>
> Put a nipple on it.
>
> What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
>
> Nothing, she's been told twice already.
>
> If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag
> at you, what have you done wrong?
>
> Made her chain too long.
>
>
> How many men does it take to open a beer?
>
> None. It should be opened when she brings it.
>
>
> Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
>
> Because a woman who can't even afford a washing
> machine will probably never be able to support you.
>
>
> Why do women have smaller feet than men?
>
> It's one of those 'evolutionary things'
> that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
>
>
> How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
>
> When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'
>
>
> How do you fix a woman's watch?
>
> You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
>
>
> Why do men pass gas more than women?
>
> Because women can't shut up long enough to build
> up the required pressure.
>
>
> If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife
> is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
>
> The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you
> let him in.
>
>
> What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
>
> A woman who won't do what she's told.
>
>
> I married my 'Miss Right'.
>
> I just didn't know her first name was Always.
>
>
> Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a
> woman's sex drive by 90% ...
>
> it's called a Wedding Cake.
>
>
> Why do men die before their wives?
>
> They want to.
>
>
> Women will never be equal to men...
>
> until they can walk down the street with a bald head
> and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
>